Not too long ago "have a nice life" seemed like a cool phrase to throw at your enemy. Now it's something I say to friends. People have a tendency to be optimistic and say "see you soon" in all sorts of situations, but sometimes you just know you are never going to see them again, simply because you reach a parting of your ways. My university town, Malmo, is the only connection I have with most of the people I met after I graduated from high school. Everything is so unstable here - people come and go, knowing that even if they come back a year or two later, things will never be the same.
But what's been really bothering me lately is the classical situation - one person stays and the other person goes. I have been on both sides. Leaving home for the first time, I looked ant my brother and tried to picture what he would do after I'm gone. He would go to the kitchen, grab a few candies from the yellow bowl on the kitchen table, lie down on the sofa and watch TV all afternoon. I left my classmate in a train station in Malmo a year ago and flew over to England, thinking how she would go home and wrap herself up in a blanket, just like every day. I left my housemates in England, knowing that nothing really changed for them and they will soon welcome a new person who will sleep in the same bed I slept in. With or without me, these cycles never stopped.
But sometimes I get to be on the other side. Looking at my boyfriend in the train window after he visited me, I knew it was just the beginning of his journey, and I just went back to my apartment. Nothing was different, except the fact that he was there, with me, only half an hour ago.
It just gets so confusing at this point - you always hear how important you are for people, but when you are gone, are you really missed?
It just gets so confusing at this point - you always hear how important you are for people, but when you are gone, are you really missed?
