Summer's come, summer's gone

So here I am, back on the last day of summer 2014, after months of silence. Did I only find the guts to write again only because it seemed absurd to not squeeze at least one post into my blog while it's still summer? Maybe. I'd say yes.
It's this strange feeling that's been all over me for a while. It's contradictory: I want to write and I don't at the same time. I barely write anything in the summer. No letters to my pen pals, no blog posts, no short stories in my notebook. I'll blame the summer, it's always like this:

However, pushing away my zero productiveness in writing as a hobby, I worked as a journalist for a local news website. This job made me face my fears and do things I've never been  comfortable doing (e.g. call people I've never met multiple times a day, five days a week), but at the same time it's been an adventure. I love interviewing, and I had plenty of opportunities to do that. One of my greatest memories of the whole summer is the day I interviewed an Australian guy and his American girlfriend, who, thanks to a house exchange program, moved to a Lithuanian countryside. The two people from big cities now use water from a well, take care of ducks and grow their own food. Meeting them definitely was an opportunity I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Other than that, i also went to a music festival, which was way wetter than anyone could have expected. It rained for three days and tents were floating in water. We got lucky so our belongings didn't float, but others' did. Not being able to dry my wet clothes and cutting my toes whilst swimming on he sea on the first hour of a three-day festival was really annoying, but now that I am back and my cuts are healing, I remember that festival as one of the greatest adventures of the summer.

Yesterday I went to cheer for my friend and her boyfriend in the first-ever color run in Lithuania and that was amazing, too. Came back with my camera covered in pink dust paint and smiling from ear to ear :3

All in all, I can really say that my summer has been one of the best summers I had :)

Beautiful as we are (I)

This post has been here as an empty draft with only a name on it for exactly one month and one day. Everybody starts with a blank page, but I don't usually struggle with it as much as I did this time, not sure if it's because I have too much to say and I don't know where to start, or because I'm just afraid of being misunderstood, my words and thoughts being misinterpreted or thought of as egoistic and narcissistic.

I'm pretty sure I'll write more on this topic because I have way too many thoughts on presently existent perceptions of beauty and I don't want to make my posts too chunky and overloaded. I know - I'll make a series of posts on it :)

So, to start off, a few days ago, a friend of mine recommended a book called "1984" by George Orwell, which I will definitely read. From what she told me, it's about how societies can become dull only by narrowing down people's vocabularies and making them use basic words. As I think of it, it hits me just how true it may be.

The course I took on my Erasmus exchange this semester really got me thinking about so many cultural and social aspects of my life and my environment, and I think I might have found the connection between the ideas in "1984" and what I heard from my lecturers throughout the course- endless streams of academic vocabulary. Every time a simple word could be substituted for something more scholarly and professional - it was. It is shocking how much my own vocabulary has grown and how critically I started to see things since I started it in January, 16 weeks ago.

Even though I will be writing my own thoughts, mainly based on what I have read when I was searching for quotes to use in my exam papers, I feel like I need a disclaimer here: I do not intend to be egoistic or, worse, narcissistic. I have been told numerous times that I am physically beautiful, and it's not an achievement that I intend to brag about. And yes, technically, from the global point of view, I have, in fact, an "ideal body "- pale white skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, long legs and all this shit that makes people think I am beautiful and assume I'm not smart at all, sadly. That is purely a social and cultural thing about which I intend to talk in my "Beautiful  as we are" series. Here we go :)

Christmas came and went

This point, at which one year ends and another starts, is the time for coming back. Not symbolically, but because that is what I personally want all the time. It's like a Christmas gift to myself, a gift that requires an occasion. Being with people I love and miss all the time. This is, however, the time of great sadness, lurking just behind the corner to take over. Time of realizing how temporary and fragile this precious time is. The best time of the year. Well, maybe summer is better, but this is more recent.

So, I went home for Christimas, and spent 3 amazing weeks in my home country. Met all my best friends, strengthened my relationships, spent time with my beloved ones. After four months abroad, I got over from emptiness and loneliness. Brought back to Sweden a lot of memorable moments, warm hugs, and, sadly, a few good-bye kisses.

This post is not going to be an organised one, but when I do not write for a while, I lose the skill, just like in sports or studying. It's been embarrassingly long since the last post, so it just feels good to be back and not pressure myself.

Some news: I am going on an Erasmus exchange in Newcastle, England, for this spring semester. I'm leaving on Monday, so, from then on, it is expected to reflect here, in this blog, maybe even including some impression-based posts or first opinions :)

So, back to my holiday. despite all these bad feelings that are in me now, I feel like this period of time was one of those that people remember when they are old and think how great these times were. But, since I am not planning to stop being crazy when I am with these people,the list of my best memories is still open, and that's something to look for :)

As for this blog's future, I have got plenty of topics to write about and am still open for constructive critic and suggestions. I am also working on getting rid of unreasonable excuses, sso this is just about to show how it goes for me.

Birthday marathon :)

Home-made cookies with my art on them :)

Me and my brother

Best gifts come from the heart

No need to hide it, although we are being modest about this sometimes, we all love getting presents. Some like luxury, some like receiving money and being given the freedom of choice, some never know what they want. But the whole point of giving someone a present is surprising them and showing you truly care about them, isn't it? I don't know your position, but I couldn't agree more. It's not about getting exactly the physical thing you wanted for, it's more about attention. As for me, best gifts ever are those that come from the heart and are given to you regardless of their low cost and simplicity. Members of my family share this opinion as well. Therefore, this Christmas we promised each other we would only give each other gifts made by ourselves. And I think it's fantastic! What if you can't make stuff by yourself, you may ask? You take something simple and turn it into something beautiful. Even if it's only the bag or the envelope that's made by you, it still gives a totally different first impression. You are let to know someone put effort and thought about you, not only went to the shop, bought something random and brought it to you right away. That's what lets you know the other person actually cares, not only does what he or she has to.
What inspired me to write this is actually my best friend's gift I got for my 19th birthday. At first, it all seemed so simple, but now, 6 months later, it means the world to me. A postcard, thyme pastilles and dried cornflowers for the tea - that's what she gave me just before I left and went back to cold and windy Scandinavia. So this evening, when I am feeling weak and feverish, I'm drinking the tea and feeling how the pastilles slowly melt in my mouth, hoping I'll feel better tomorrow because of this small simple gift which was given to me to show how she cared for me. Amazing, isn't it?  :)

Emi is thinking about life, love and existence

Let me just begin by saying it's in no way a recommendation, because most people I offer to watch this tell me it's crap, I am just spilling my thoughts into a virtual space. So there's this movie I can't get enough of. It's called 'Mister Nobody'. The name of it is far from catchy. The actors, however, are insanely good and Jared Leto is doing perfectly well there as always. On the other hand, it's too long as a mindfuck type of movie, so not everyone can last till the end of it. It's also weird as hell, I thought the same thing after watching that once. But it's a kind of movie that takes more than one time to watch in order to understand it. However, I do not know any single person except myself who is willing to watch this 3-hour movie more than twice. Ain't nobody have time for that.. However, after I watched it I got really curious about things I did not understand there. To get most of it took me about 4 times. But still, I keep watching different parts of it again and again. It changes everything. Before I found it, I would have never believed a movie can contain more and cause more thoughts about life, existence and love than any lecture I can possibly have or book I ever read in my life. When I watch it for a minute or two, all those thoughts are reborn and alive in my head, and I must add that it's addictive. I want to think more about it, feel this infinity of space and have this idea of everything being not real. Thinking about love from a different perspective than that of girly movies or romance comedies. Imagining all people being a huge 7 billion pixel screen and not being able to see myself in there, when everyone around me is telling I can change the world.
Every person sooner or later finds his way of feeling this. It might be a once-in-a-lifetime feeling, but it might become an addiction. Well, this was mine.

/Emi

Summer pleasures that prevent from writing

Summer is at its hottest, friends and love is all around, the food is always fresh, the volleyball is on nearly every day, and the water is bearable as well. The adventures are calling one after another and there's no such thing as using the computer for more than one hour a day anymore. Sweden looks far behind me, and I am far from longing to go back there. Well, I miss my friends a lot, but they are not actually there right now, so it doesn't really count. I've been up to so much lately, but, I must admit, I did not write. What motivated me to come back to it was the first payment I have ever received for writing ^^ So I am back again and I will try to come up with new ideas to write on and avoid making such long breaks in writing. I start to miss it very fast :3

Creativity takes over

So this is a story which I wrote at about 5a.m. tonight for one of my courses.

Elijah, a five year-old, was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the endless hills outside, which contained all possible shades of green, roughly interrupted by some red, white or pink bits of blossoming wild flowers. He was alone in the house. Alone, but not lonely. He was used to this feeling, waiting for his dad to come home from the corn fields. It’s been like this for a long while, that actually lasted more than he could remember. However, when he was way too little to be left alone, his aunt Cora would stay with him throughout the day, talking to him, sometimes calming him down so that he would stop crying. He was such a cry-child! He took her as a family member. But as he grew old enough to stay alone in the house for the whole day and do some cleaning, she became a guest, a visitor. She would come once a week, every Thursday. More and more often, talking to her felt completely different, strange, even awkward.

He saw Caleb walking across the tall grass towards the house, a chocolate-brown figure, surrounded by the greenness of the sun-lighted hills. He finished the day’s job and until the next day he was free. Elijah watched him, relaxed, getting closer and closer to the house, waving to him. The little boy waved back. He felt sympathetic to Celeb, although the old man did not seem to mind the obligatory work in the fields. Elijah might have to go and work there one day, too. Just like his grandfather did, just as his dad does. But he might as well not. Caleb told him that things were getting better, everything was changing. However, seeing his dad so lively and happy every time he was coming back from the fields, he felt like this kind of work was all he needed for a good life. It seemed to Elijah that it was enough to feel useful, enough to be treated fairly, to eventually gain respect from the whites, which, Caleb used to tell him, was an important goal to achieve. The door opened and he heard a cheerful and lively voice, calling his name. Impatient and excited, he waited for Caleb to take of his shoes, then jumped off the chair and ran to greet him.

  What, from your point of view, was the main idea of this story?

Cute hand-written letters ^^

I have a really good friend, who used to be my classmate. Sadly, when we graduated last summer, she went to the capital of my home country, and I left for Sweden. Since September 2012, we met only twice: on the Christmas and Easter holidays. Despite that, we stayed really good friends and now we can't wait until the end of June when we will meet and spend the summer together. But for now, although we are a few hundreds of kilometers apart, we still communicate, and the best part is, we do it old school - we send each other long hand-written letters, where we write, draw, share our adventures, worries, and joys. So, I wrote her this letter last night, and I felt like doing something differently. After giving in to this impulse, I ended up drawing this little cute giraffe on the envelope. I bet my friend will be really happy to receive it (last time I wrote some extra quotes on the other side of the envelope, someone crossed them out :( I hope it won't happen this time).

So this is how the letter looked just before I sent it out :)

A new skill or just wordiness?

So, this time, I decided to write about my writing.
I started drawing my own path of creative writing when I was about fifteen. What I started with were essay contests, and this new beginning appeared to be quite successful. Since then, I have written quite a lot of essays and short stories. But when I graduated from school, my productiveness in creative writing fell to almost nothing. Unfortunately, when I made it to Malmo University, English Studies, I got obliged to write, it became my new routine. However, not being pleased by this state of unproductiveness, I was never going to complain about that. Suddenly, the amounts of text I wrote got really big, especially when compared to the amounts I had to produce in high school. Instead of 500 words a week, I was suddenly supposed to write three essays of 1000. Oftentimes, even more. And that was where the real skill-building progress began. For some time in the beginning, it was all about writing: courses, lectures, homework..everything. Now it's about other things as well, including linguistics, but writing is still a major part of my entire degree. So now, having almost finished my first year in English Studies, I can say that so far it is giving me a priceless skill: ability to write much more than before, but not by getting wordy. I started to think more about reasons and consequences, fill the text with thoughts of my own, but also search for the answer, considering all possibilities. Although it's not so much about creative writing anymore, it's still something I enjoy very much. Besides, I feel like that is what I want to do, and a huge part of what I want to become.

Blogging works!

Blogging.. Now I think that it was pretty smart to finally start doing it. What gave it a push was an open lecture I attended this Thursday. It was about writing for media. So, in the lecture there spoke a man, who studies the same thing as me (he's just about to graduate now), who has already started working as a copy editor, and a woman, who's a professional at marketing and has her own company. They spoke about what an English student should do to create a path to his/her carrier when still studying. So, I went out of the lecture room carrying two main ideas: take the Copy Editing course, and..start a blog. The marketer gave us this idea. She said that if we wanted to associate our future carrier with writing, we should get used to it, practice it. Then she mentioned blogs. What there is to add, she also said that having a blog might give you some extra points when searching for a job. And, of course, it will help you develop your own voice and style.
Although I am still not sure I will be able to keep up regular blogging some time later, I am really enjoying it at the moment. 2 posts a day, and still actively searching for new ideas and topics to write on. By the way, if you ever happen to wonder what I think about some particular things or learn something related to what I do in my free time, you can always ask for it. I am open for this kind of stuff :)

And the blogging begins

No expectations. That's how I begin my first blog ever. Plans: try and write about things that catch my attention in a different way, developing my own voice and style, and finally, finally get a long-time habit of writing regularly.
So, to begin with, a little bit about myself.
A struggling writer, still searching for my genre. Very eager to write, but sometimes too lazy to do it. Full of ideas and thoughts, but lacking the spirit and motivation to write regularly. Therefore, trying to change it and get better. So far, unsuccessfully. This made me consider starting an online blog. So, this is my another attempt to start writing daily, at least weekly.
I am not a native speaker, so there might be some grammar, punctuation or spelling mistakes in my writing. I am not going to set a specific topic for my blog posts. I imagine my blog being a reflection of me: everything from fancy and creative to scientific and very serious. In my posts, I will express my opinions, ponder over what I see on my Facebook news feed, get creative sometimes, or even do a research on something that catches my attention. If my blog happens to be successful, I might also consider making tutorials of cooking, handcraft (friendship bracelets, making teddy-bears), making different hairdos or healthy lifestyle.
I am a first-year student in Malmo University, Sweden (but I am not Swedish, just so that you know). and since my studies have to do a lot with writing, this blog will also be my way of practicing it, getting used to it.
So, I really hope that blogging will become a fun part of my life :)