Thoughts about saying good-bye (II)

Until I graduated from high school, a good-bye was never a big deal for me. It usually meant "see you tomorrow" or "see you after the weekend". However, the concept and the aftermath of good-byes have been keeping my mind occupied for quite a while now.

Not too long ago "have a nice life" seemed like a cool phrase to throw at your enemy. Now it's something I say to friends. People have a tendency to be optimistic and say "see you soon" in all sorts of situations, but sometimes you just know you are never going to see them again, simply because you reach a parting of your ways. My university town, Malmo, is the only connection I have with most of the people I met after I graduated from high school. Everything is so unstable here - people come and go, knowing that even if they come back a year or two later, things will never be the same.

But what's been really bothering me lately is the classical situation - one person stays and the other person goes. I have been on both sides.  Leaving home for the first time, I looked ant my brother and tried to picture what he would do after I'm gone. He would go to the kitchen, grab a few candies from the yellow bowl on the kitchen table, lie down on the sofa and watch TV all afternoon. I left my classmate in a train station in Malmo a year ago and flew over to England, thinking how she would go home and wrap herself up in a blanket, just like every day. I left my housemates in England, knowing that nothing really changed for them and they will soon welcome a new person who will sleep in the same bed I slept in. With or without me, these cycles never stopped.

But sometimes I get to be on the other side. Looking at my boyfriend in the train window after he visited me, I knew it was just the beginning of his journey, and I just went back to my apartment. Nothing was different, except the fact that he was there, with me, only half an hour ago.

It just gets so confusing at this point - you always hear how important you are for people, but when you are gone, are you really missed?

Thoughts about saying good-bye

Saying good-bye is not what everybody has a chance to experience, but it is something you never learn how to deal with. It hurts every time, even if it's not forever. And if that wasn't enough, those moments of parting settle in your memory and later become one of the reasons for out-of-nowhere sadness. Especially now, when people freely travel all over the world every day, good-byes are becoming a very common thing. Even children experience that with, for example, their summer camp friends. Also, one mustn't forget about the rivers of tears that are being shed on graduations, in airports, bus and train stations, and, finally, hospitals and cemeteries. In addition to this, couples fall into long distance relationships, children leave their parents, people go on business trips, and soldiers go on missions, knowing they might not come back. But then, there is always some brighter shades regarding some of those points (not the cemeteries, of course). Take, for example, the fact that people make friends all the time. Then, in some cases, it becomes a closed circle: you find friends and leave them, then you do it again and again. But still, I do not believe you can ever put up with the feeling. Oh, and some more news from the bright side: just think how many love songs and letters have been written for the ones who were left alone, especially in the case of LDRs (Long Distance Relationships). From my still lasting experience I can say that this is one of the most morally painful things one can experience. Especially the beginning of it, which is always the worst. As time flies, it gets a little calmer inside, but the pain and sadness never disappear (of course, if the feeling of love remains). Nowadays, it has become an entire new culture: hundreds and hundreds of videos on Youtube, all those previously mentioned songs and cute letters, little gifts, big packages, motivational pictures on the internet... It is surprising how everything has changed to the extent of LDRs when the meeting of a couple in love is actually the first time the two people see each other! So, in conclusion, good-byes are painful, but what comes out of it in some cases is just amazing and couldn't possibly result from anything else.