Ponderings of a 20-year-old

This still doesn't sound real. Doesn't feel real. And yet here I am, freshly-baked 20-year-old.
My birthday yesterday was felt much more online than in reality. No big party, crazy stuff or crowds. Facebook posts, messages, coffee with a friend and calls from my precious ones did the trick fantastically. I thought of making a new decade's resolution, but who needs it anyway, not everything's about planning or predicting, or hoping for something better than you have all the time and making deadlines for that. So yes, I discovered this special sort of one-day holiday when I allowed myself to just enjoy what I have and not think about any deadlines, assignments, mess in my room or the storm outside. Enjoy my own company in pyjamas, in front of a laptop with a good movie playing. This might sound miserable, but that's really not the worst there is, after wanting a day to do whatever you want and however you want it, without any regrets or inner conflicts. So there's that :)

Emi is into movie recommendations

'Cafe de flore' is another movie I can't stop thinking about..and watching all over again as well. That's my thing, when something makes me think or feel differently in a good way, I get addicted to the feeling and feel like it would be wrong not to see/hear it again.
So this movie raises the idea of faith when it comes to love. It's about two people being written in the stars. About one person being a part of his partner's flame which burns even after this life ends, and even when the other life starts, meaning that the two are destined to find each other there. I find it very comforting to think that. When you combine the main ideas of 'Mr.Nobody' and 'Cafe de flore', it's not so hard to believe. We live our lives and don't really know if the afterlife exists. But if we are so sure of it even if it can all exist in one child's imagination, the idea of afterlife doesn't seem so surreal anymore, at least for me. I often get taken over by those depressing thoughts about the end of my life. Especially when I wish for my happiness to last forever. But there is no forever if we die, is it? That's depressing too. So this movie gave me a new point of view, the one that gives my happiness some deeper context. One that makes me mean it when I say forever. feel love more truly than ever and encourages to never forget about it, not even for a second.
To be honest, I can't stop thinking about this movie for weeks after I watch it once. Those thoughts are seriously addictive, because there is nothing in this world that makes me feel more satisfied with what I have and who I am than perfect harmony inside me.

Emi is thinking about life, love and existence

Let me just begin by saying it's in no way a recommendation, because most people I offer to watch this tell me it's crap, I am just spilling my thoughts into a virtual space. So there's this movie I can't get enough of. It's called 'Mister Nobody'. The name of it is far from catchy. The actors, however, are insanely good and Jared Leto is doing perfectly well there as always. On the other hand, it's too long as a mindfuck type of movie, so not everyone can last till the end of it. It's also weird as hell, I thought the same thing after watching that once. But it's a kind of movie that takes more than one time to watch in order to understand it. However, I do not know any single person except myself who is willing to watch this 3-hour movie more than twice. Ain't nobody have time for that.. However, after I watched it I got really curious about things I did not understand there. To get most of it took me about 4 times. But still, I keep watching different parts of it again and again. It changes everything. Before I found it, I would have never believed a movie can contain more and cause more thoughts about life, existence and love than any lecture I can possibly have or book I ever read in my life. When I watch it for a minute or two, all those thoughts are reborn and alive in my head, and I must add that it's addictive. I want to think more about it, feel this infinity of space and have this idea of everything being not real. Thinking about love from a different perspective than that of girly movies or romance comedies. Imagining all people being a huge 7 billion pixel screen and not being able to see myself in there, when everyone around me is telling I can change the world.
Every person sooner or later finds his way of feeling this. It might be a once-in-a-lifetime feeling, but it might become an addiction. Well, this was mine.

/Emi