How I find motivation for running

      In this whirlpool of private experiences and philosophical thoughts, this will be something different, more lightweight. 

Sports is my passion - running, volleyball, cycling, badminton, you name it. However, I do it not just because I can. I have my goals and I work hard to achieve them, but this is the tricky part. This is where laziness comes in. I like to share my progress in social media and the response I usually get was my major inspiration to write this post. 

When I share my workout results, sometimes people leave a comment or message me saying they wish they were as motivated as I am. First of all, let's make this clear - my motivation is not a given. Just like everybody else, I have my lazy days and dozens of silly excuses in my head (it's too windy, the park might be too crowded, I have a lecture in five hours etc.). I am always on a hunt for good motivational quotes and tips and over the last couple of years I have developed a coping strategy for my laziness when it comes to sports (to tell you the truth, it's not 100% per-cent effective and will never be - after all I'm a human, not a robot).

So, here's some tips and tricks that help me stay motivated.

1. Set a goal. It can be absolutely anything from fitting into your favourite jeans that became too tight to a thigh gap, toned arms or a flat stomach. This is probably not news for you, but it really matters. However, it didn't work well for me on its own, so here's another tip from me - buy an item of clothing that will not be flattering unless you reach your goal. For example, my goal is to have a flat stomach until the middle of June, so I bought this beautiful crop top. I promised myself that even if I don't get a flat stomach, I will have to wear it at least once in June. So now, when I am all cozy in bed and I want to stay there the whole day, that's what I tell myself. Trust me, it works!

2. Earn your shopping day. I discovered this tip only a couple months ago and now I don't even know what I would do without it. I'm sure everyone knows the feeling when you see something you really like but it costs so much you would feel guilty if you bought it. So earn it! Set up a cute little jar and put some money in it after each workout. However, it is very easy to cheat here, so I would recommend to define what a "workout" is (is 20 crunches same as a 5k run?). For example, I put 10SEK (around 1€) for each workout that is no less than 25 minutes long. This has two major outcomes - you don't waste money on expensive things you don't need and it's a big pleasure to buy an expensive item you worked so hard for. 

3. Find a gym buddy. This is probably the hardest thing to do. I haven't found people motivated enough to run with me at least a couple times a week. Also, making a running schedule can be really complicated if you're both busy. However, now I know what it feels like to have a gym buddy and it's magical, especially on days when you feel really lazy. You just get up and do it, knowing that someone is counting on you. This one helped me even in my darkest times.

4. Find some motivational quotes that make you want to do a workout. These might be really cheesy, but there's something in them that gets me out of bed and into my running shoes. They're very personal and what works for me might not work for you. I usually find them on WeHeartIt. Here are some of my favourites at the moment:

And (surprise surprise) Ryan Gosling

So, that is all I have to share with you for now. Writing this type of blog posts is new for me, but I enjoyed it. If you would like me to talk more about sports, workouts and my lifestyle, let me know and I'll see what I can do :)

Thoughts about saying good-bye (II)

Until I graduated from high school, a good-bye was never a big deal for me. It usually meant "see you tomorrow" or "see you after the weekend". However, the concept and the aftermath of good-byes have been keeping my mind occupied for quite a while now.

Not too long ago "have a nice life" seemed like a cool phrase to throw at your enemy. Now it's something I say to friends. People have a tendency to be optimistic and say "see you soon" in all sorts of situations, but sometimes you just know you are never going to see them again, simply because you reach a parting of your ways. My university town, Malmo, is the only connection I have with most of the people I met after I graduated from high school. Everything is so unstable here - people come and go, knowing that even if they come back a year or two later, things will never be the same.

But what's been really bothering me lately is the classical situation - one person stays and the other person goes. I have been on both sides.  Leaving home for the first time, I looked ant my brother and tried to picture what he would do after I'm gone. He would go to the kitchen, grab a few candies from the yellow bowl on the kitchen table, lie down on the sofa and watch TV all afternoon. I left my classmate in a train station in Malmo a year ago and flew over to England, thinking how she would go home and wrap herself up in a blanket, just like every day. I left my housemates in England, knowing that nothing really changed for them and they will soon welcome a new person who will sleep in the same bed I slept in. With or without me, these cycles never stopped.

But sometimes I get to be on the other side. Looking at my boyfriend in the train window after he visited me, I knew it was just the beginning of his journey, and I just went back to my apartment. Nothing was different, except the fact that he was there, with me, only half an hour ago.

It just gets so confusing at this point - you always hear how important you are for people, but when you are gone, are you really missed?

Why wanderers know themselves better

   I have been thinking about this for a while and yes, my conclusion is that people who wander are not always lost. There are so many controversies in their lives, so much chaos and movement, spiced with risk, instability, and longing that it seems to be the best condition to get to know oneself in all ways possible. Even though there is no way this lifestyle is suitable for anyone or attractive for everyone who sticks to it, this is the right path with self-omniscience waiting at its end.
   The main reason why I think so is very practical. I am not talking about a person who walks around with a wooden walking-stick and gives strangers advice, even though they were also considered more knowledgeable and experienced than the sedentary ones. Here I am referring to travelers without permanent accommodation, such as international students, couch-surfers, au pair nannies etc. So, when 'the sedentary ones' move out, it becomes an event of a decade. Collecting their stuff, putting it into boxes and getting rid of some of it becomes a burden, because that 'stuff'' turns out to be the result of years and years of piling it up, filling up the space, even without realizing it.
   A modern wanderer cannot afford this luxury. In this case, moving out becomes an annual, seasonal(?), once-in-a-term, or any other kind of a periodical thing. It becomes a well-practiced skill. But the hard thing is, we can never help buying new things,  and we are given things all the time as well. So, the so-called modern wanderer usually encounters the dilemma I will refer to as 'space/value judgement'. Every time he/she moves out, some things have to be refused. One cannot afford to pile up, or to store things somewhere. And if the space is limited, the judgement of personal value has to be done. And yes, even very precious things have to be rid of sometimes. And when the person goes through it again and again, it becomes a lesson for life. What it teaches, however, it not only the 'proficiency' in moving out.
 
   It is, most importantly, self-exploration. Every time you move out, you see how you have changed. Under the light of cardinal changes, some things suddenly seem needless, and new valuables emerge. And this, being so material (we often think the big self-discoveries are made within oneself), becomes a way to know what's happening even before you find the changes within your inner self.

Ponderings of a 20-year-old

This still doesn't sound real. Doesn't feel real. And yet here I am, freshly-baked 20-year-old.
My birthday yesterday was felt much more online than in reality. No big party, crazy stuff or crowds. Facebook posts, messages, coffee with a friend and calls from my precious ones did the trick fantastically. I thought of making a new decade's resolution, but who needs it anyway, not everything's about planning or predicting, or hoping for something better than you have all the time and making deadlines for that. So yes, I discovered this special sort of one-day holiday when I allowed myself to just enjoy what I have and not think about any deadlines, assignments, mess in my room or the storm outside. Enjoy my own company in pyjamas, in front of a laptop with a good movie playing. This might sound miserable, but that's really not the worst there is, after wanting a day to do whatever you want and however you want it, without any regrets or inner conflicts. So there's that :)

Opportunities that enrich

   One of the courses I am having, called "Introduction to Social and Cultural Studies", has been giving me a lot of thought recently, especially concerning the issues of racism, obesity, and disability and how society 'copes' with it, especially in the post-soviet Europe. I was comparing the views of people from small towns to ones of those coming from bigger cities. Then I thought about the small town I grew up in. People were crazy about football there, and we had two black players in out team, who were the only one making the local community interracial. People loved the sport, and the two guys did really well on the team, but still there were racist comments coming from the crowd every time they were in the field. The black players were being judged and picked on for slightest mistakes they made much more intensely than the other players. Everyone still loved the team but things were different than before.

   What I settled with was just a pile of questions I was going through over and over for the past two or three days. What really struck me was the final understanding that what all this fuss was ans still is about is really just the matter of 'otherness'. Offensively enough, I was able to compare it to a situation where a little child sees something other than  himself and radiates distrust. at it or..gets scared. And maybe that's just it, maybe we're just scared at the sight of someone entering the bubble of trust our society has formed easily enough because we were all similar physically? 

   But then I think about the western culture where the interracial background has been on much longer. Does this have to do with the national character? The soviets and their enclosure on the east part of Europe? The economy? It gets complex as different all these different aspects pile up, but what I think it's going to turn out to be is a matter of time. Time needed for a child to grow up and realize that all he feared was just another opportunity to make his life richer.

Little experiments: new hairstyle

Before I left to the university today, I really felt like doing something new with my hair, but did not have time for extreme changes. Therefore, I just added a new braid to the one-sided one I already mastered. I think it turned out pretty well :)

Emi is into movie recommendations

'Cafe de flore' is another movie I can't stop thinking about..and watching all over again as well. That's my thing, when something makes me think or feel differently in a good way, I get addicted to the feeling and feel like it would be wrong not to see/hear it again.
So this movie raises the idea of faith when it comes to love. It's about two people being written in the stars. About one person being a part of his partner's flame which burns even after this life ends, and even when the other life starts, meaning that the two are destined to find each other there. I find it very comforting to think that. When you combine the main ideas of 'Mr.Nobody' and 'Cafe de flore', it's not so hard to believe. We live our lives and don't really know if the afterlife exists. But if we are so sure of it even if it can all exist in one child's imagination, the idea of afterlife doesn't seem so surreal anymore, at least for me. I often get taken over by those depressing thoughts about the end of my life. Especially when I wish for my happiness to last forever. But there is no forever if we die, is it? That's depressing too. So this movie gave me a new point of view, the one that gives my happiness some deeper context. One that makes me mean it when I say forever. feel love more truly than ever and encourages to never forget about it, not even for a second.
To be honest, I can't stop thinking about this movie for weeks after I watch it once. Those thoughts are seriously addictive, because there is nothing in this world that makes me feel more satisfied with what I have and who I am than perfect harmony inside me.

Changes for good

Only a week ago or so I decided this entirely white wall of my room needed something on it. So I took this big photo of me and my boyfriend he gave me as a present, a drawing my other best friend gave me just before I left for my second year at the uni, some photos with the people I love from this summer and an old picture of me as a child and my mom and put it all into a collage. I think it turned out very nicely. 

This is what the final version of what the composition looks like :)

Just came to say hi :)

One-time style changes. Going all formal ^^